Pawpaw Logan, aka poor, poor Logan.
by ye mad ones
Summary: Logan eats papaya, Rogue's powers make a vanishing act, Scott comes out of the closet (so to speak), but then Rogue's powers return! ::dramatic music:: r/r, strangness abounds! Third chapter now up.
1. Pawpaw Logan

Title: Pawpaw Logan, aka Poor, poor Logan.  
Genre: General/Romance  
Summary: Logan eats papaya, Rogue's powers make a vanishing act, Scott comes out of the closet (so to speak), but then Rogue's powers return... ::dramatic music:: r/r, strangeness abounds!  
a/n: This is really weird, if you don't want to find out the horrible reality of what might happen then DO NOT READ!!! ok actually do, cos it's funny!

Logan was sitting at his table eating a papaya, then Rogue entered the room and said:  
"**Wolvie! Sweetie!**" she had a simpering smile on her face.  
"Marie, **darlin'**," came Logan's reply in an overly sarcastic voice, "What is it? Oh, and do you have to call me Wolvie and Sweetie- it's extremely embarrassing, I get teased so much."  
"Oh honey, I'm so sorry, if I had known, I wouldn't have called you sweetie or Wolvie ever, but you know how much I love you!'  
Then miraculously, all her ability to take other mutants strengths were lost and she and Logan had a rather long kiss, a long, smoochy kiss, which Logan, while pretending to hate it was enjoying it so much that he wouldn't let Rogue go. The kiss went on for another 10minutes or so, until Scott fell out of the nearby cupboard and shouted;  
"Logan, you lied to me! I thought you loved me!" and ran out of the room crying.  
"What does he mean?" asked Rogue.  
"Oh he's just gay, didn't you know my love?" when he came to saying my love Rogue noticed with pleasure that he didn't say it in a sarcastic way.  
"I love you Logan!" Rogue said  
"I love you too, Marie" came the reply instantly.  
And of course it's a happy ending, or is it? ::very eerie music::  
When they went forward to kiss again, Marie's powers returned and Logan fell into a 3 month long coma (his healing factor had decided to run off and join the circus).

::X-men music::  
tbc…

yeah well, that's all, review please! (it's my first fic, I don't even care about flames! I have a *whole* bag of marshmallows, and I need fire to cook them on!! ::my friend Kate the pyro [aka Kalgoorlie the author] makes an appearance:: FIRE!! FIRE!!! ::Beavis laugh:: PISS OFF KATE!! ::Kate stops laughing:: sorry. ::walks off dejectedly::) anyway just see that little box? just *waiting* for reviews? pppppllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeee?! ::puppy dog eyes::


	2. Pawpaw Logan con'td

A/N: Hey guys, this is not ye mad one, it is in fact Kalgoorlie (the [unfortunately not famous] author of the only Bridget Jones/X-Men crossover- I think ::sheepish grin::). Basically the author notes will be from yours truly cos Rowie doesn't know anything in the slihgtest about HTML ::grumble:: But anyway, here is the (not so) long awaited next chapter of Pawpaw Logan, aka Poor poor Logan. Dammit, now you know what happens in our maths lessons. Oh well. Mrs Shurrock, I hope you're not reading this. ::grin::

Suddenly Jean jumped out of the cupboard (having been in there with Scott) and shouted  
"You BITCH! What did you do to him?!?"  
"Ah didn't mean to!" Rogue protested. "It was an aaacideynt!" Jean tried to hit Rogue.  
"Like HELL IT WAS!!!"  
Rogue then turned to the still unocncious Wolvie.  
"Ah took your laaaaaahhhhhhhfe!!" (a/n: anyone got any de ja vu's from the movie?)  
Then miraculously Logan woke up. (Amazingly the above conversation had taken 3 months)  
"No ya didn't!" (a/n: there's that pesky de ja vu thing again.. ::grin::)  
"But I thought you were in a three month coma! _I'm_ the medical genius!! _I'm_ the perfect one!"  
"But you tend to loose track of time quite easily, don't ya?" Logan mocked her (a/n: sorry, you could just call us the anti-Jean squad. ::smirk::) "That conversation took _three _months!"  
"It can't have done! I'm perfect!It only took 4 minutes!"  
"Correction Jean," intterrupted Scott, who, as incredible as it was, had been standing in the background waiting to say something ever since he ran out of the room crying cos Logan didn't love him. "It took three months and 4 minutes, I know this cos _**I'm**_ the perfect one!"  
Scott's eyes flashed yellow, signalling that this was indeed the infamous Plastique Mystique. Logan suddenly unsheathed his claws with a *skint*, and shved them through Scott/Plastique Mystique's chest.  
"You IIIIIIIIIIIIIIDIOT!! IT'S THE **____****REAL** MEEEEEEE!!!" Scott/Plastique Mystique yelled.  
"Oops." Logan said.  
"gotcha!" Scott/Plastique Mystique giggled and keeled over, dead as a dead thing.   
Jean and Rogue then came out of their shock of realising they had just had a VERY long conversation, and lunged at Logan screaming together:  
"WOLVIE!! WE **LOVE** YOU!! Pick ME over that bitch!!" they both pointed at each other.  
Logan stood there, not knowing who (or what) to pick.

******____****FREEZE FRAME!!!!** ::X-Men music, as narrative says::  
..... will Wolvie pick Jean or Rogue (or will he pick me, Rowie says) (NOOOOOO! MEEEE!! I say), will Sabretooth make an appearance? Will he still have bushy eyebrow? Will Storm save the day? (Nah, Rowie says)  
All this and more (maybe), next time on....

**_ CHUMS!!!!_** sorry- _**PAWPAW LOGAN!!!!!**_

Allright then guys, r/r as always! 

-Kate/Kalgoorlie/Smeg Head/Greeny/Felula/Pryo/Git/whatever you wanna call me.


	3. Pawpaw Logan con'td con'td

UG! And from beyond. We're back........ well, *me* at the mo. DAMN YOU ROWIE FOR NOT KNOWING HTML!! DAMN YOU TO HELLLLLLLL!!!!!!!  
::breathes:: anyway. Here's part 3.

Logan took adeep breath. He began talking.  
"I choose......"

**_FREEZE FRAME!!!_**

Anyway. here's the weather in hell: It's raining severed fingers. 


End file.
